Leadership is hard enough. Why make it harder trying to be all things to all people, hustling to be someone you’re not?
In reading Dr. Brené Brown’s book, Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone, my mind went to my clients and when they lead with their authentic leadership style. I’m always amazed by the freedom many of them feel when they let go of who they “should” be and show up as they are, creating a greater sense of belonging with their team.
But, how can you be brave as a leader when standing out can feel so lonely and isolating? It sounds a little flippant, but you start by looking inward.
Connect To Your Goals And Values
Clearly defining and then connecting to your broader goals and values is crucial for honest leading. You gain a deeper understanding of what your greater purpose is, both personally and with your team. This gives you better clarity on where you’re going, why this is important to you and how you will get there. Then, you can clearly share this with your team. You bet it’s vulnerable, but this allows for more buy-in to create a more honest following.
Take A Value Stand
With clarity around your goals and values, you’re better able to define your boundaries of what you are and are not OK with, particularly in relation to your values. It may be difficult at first as you begin to firm set boundaries, but practice makes better (not perfect – never perfect).
It takes courage to speak up, particularly if you disagree with someone else’s point. So long as you say your piece, why you disagree, and do so in a respectful manner, you’ll create a more connected and communicative dynamic. By having the courage to speak your honest mind, you support an environment that encourages conversation to grow with everyone’s strengths.
The point here is that you don’t have to make people shift their opinions if you disagree. You just have to give them your honest opinion, so they have different perspectives to make more informed decisions. This is providing real support and leadership.
Listen To Feedback
Just as it’s important that you provide honest feedback, it’s important you listen to feedback. Solicit feedback, and listen wholeheartedly. Hear if how you’re authentic (or not) is alienating people and how to incorporate their feedback, so you can see more of the impact you want.
What I want to make clear is that “authenticity” is not an excuse for bad behavior. It’s a fine line sometimes between not being a jerk, but having the courage to say, “I disagree, but will go with the group decision because I respect them.” Say your piece and move on, regardless of the decision.
Allow Others To Discover Their Authenticity
What many clients share is that they find it hard to “fit in.” As a leader, you can’t. You can, however, belong because of your insights, thoughts, values, and so on. By showing up as your authentic self, you encourage others to do so. You help to foster an environment built on listening, working with individual strengths and supporting people as they authentically grow.